“I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.” Psalm 102:7
My life has emptied of people — through divorce, sickness and death. Friendships have fallen away. I looked around and they were all gone — these humans in whom I put so much trust and hope. I looked to them to define me, to make myself feel good about myself and even to show the world that I was “okay” because I had relationships and a “support system” in my life and that I was loved .
But these relationships vanished leaving me like a bird alone on a roof.
Relying on people is like relying on vapor. My hope in people was smashed to smithereens because I learned they were just like me — broken. They couldn’t love me unconditionally, they couldn’t heal my wounds, they couldn’t replace my insecurity with security, they couldn’t give me a hope and a peace for my future.
But God could. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
And I God did these things when I believed him.
Now, when I sit alone, like a bird on a roof, I am not alone and I am not broken. I am with the Holy Spirit. I am not distressed by my aloneness and the lack of people in my life for I have found companionship with God.
Alone, I see more clearly. I see the painful mistakes of my life and how they, through the forgiveness and healing of Jesus, have drawn me into a deepness with you, O God.
Alone, I am free to have my thoughts inhabited by you, O God. You fill me with your wisdom, your knowledge and your secrets. You give me understanding.
Alone, I know you know every hair on my head and every breath I take. I know I bring great joy to your heart and that you are pleased by your creation of me. You see past my sin — having forgiven every one of them and casting them into your great sea of forgetfulness. You see what I will become. You have replaced my insecurity with security in you, O God.
Alone, I see you — the possibilities of my alliance with and reliance on you. Through your word I learn about your plans and desires for my life and how you want my life to encourage others.
Alone, I see I have strength and courage — my encouragement come from you, O God.
Encouragement not to live a static and apathetic life.
Encouragement not to live a life full of idol worship — of people, relationships, wealth, position and of my own physical appearance.
Encouragement to live for you, O God, who has taken my life and made it true, dependent on you but through you, I am able to do all things you purpose for me.
Alone, but not lonely, for you, O God, live in my heart and will be with me always.